I Am Married To A Man A Decade Older Than Me.

"He's too old for you.", "You will not be happy", "It won't work out". These were the common remarks from friends around my age. Have ever come across insignificant people in my life who label me as "gold digger" too. But who cares? I don't care. I believe S is "the one" for me.

S and I got married some day last year..

S is 13 years my senior but that did not affect our relationship because age is just mind over matter. We don't mind so it doesn't matter. In fact, we gain more from our age difference (I learnt more from him actually :p). S has been sharing the years of life experiences he has had ahead of me, both positive and negative ones. At times, he would suggest worthy opinions and alternative solutions to matters. I am a better listener and decision maker since. Besides, he is more involved with our family as he has been spending years of his youth to build a considerably stable career, he has more time for us. Probably all women, even the most capable one who ever existed wish their partner can spend adequate quality time with them, I am not an exception. The only two possible things I could think of that he has learnt from me is to have more tolerance and patience. Sometimes I could see the raging fire in his eyes as though he is going to lash out at me, but he didn't. Instead, he keeps his cool as he tells me off (nicely). Hey, it's still an age gap after all right? I promise I'll not take for granted! :D

No doubt, we laugh and we share, occasional disagreements between us are inevitable. It is not about being married and stay harmony without arguments for the rest of our lives. It is the desire to want to continue staying together even if we do. Just recently, while we were having a dinner date on a Saturday night, S casually expressed the agony he had felt shortly after I gave birth to our baby girl. Baby blues got the better of me and I was always in an angry state. S recalled those days when we have constant communication breakdown and how I was crying over spilled milk day and night. We were on the verge of telling one another to "go live your life on your own". Well, of course we didn't, we prefer to live our lives together. *laugh* Anyway, it was S who reminded me that it was just a passing phase and was extremely sensitive of my emotions during that period even though it was also a stressful period for him. We have been learning to be more attuned to each other's feelings and to be more understanding towards one another, most importantly, we communicate. I thank God for such rational and emotionally mature man in my life who is willing to guide me along the way.

There have been many moments when I caught myself staring at him while he was busy with his work and stuff. His presence reminds me of God's grace, He has given me a loving husband, a great friend and a wise mentor, all in one person, whom I can experience life hand in hand with.

To my married friends and married couples, marriage can easily slip into a complacent routine that's a little too comfortable if we do not make some sort of effort regardless of any age differences between our partners and ourselves. My humble suggestion for a progressive marriage? It's the "3 Cs" I'm practicing.

Communicate + Cooperate + Continue Dating = Marriage with Love & Chemistry

P.S. I am glad that I have chosen to ignore those unnecessary remarks and harsh judgements. I deserve to feel love and loved by the right person.

"I Breastfed From a Bottle" (Support Breastfeeding)

Majority of mothers are fully aware that breastmilk is the best for babies. Some of us name it as "liquid gold" (You don't just get it whenever you want it. So precious!) Although there have been an increase in the numbers of mothers breastfeeding their newborns for weeks after birth, many of them stop breastfeeding exclusively or stop breastfeeding altogether due to various reasons.

Possible reasons:

• Returning to work. (especially in Singapore because most of the mothers need/prefer to return to the workforce after their maternity leave has ended.)
• Not able to supply enough breastmilk.
• Baby was not able to suckle well/properly.

The only breastfeeding photo I have. Liv was three days old then.

I wish to share my experience here. I had introduced myself as a Stay At Home Mom in my very first post (in case some of you missed that entry). I have every reason to direct latch Baby Liv and breastfeed exclusively. My breastfeeding journey has not been easy. Fast rewind to the time when I was still in the labour ward after giving birth. Liv was brought to my side after a brief clean up for skin to skin contact and breastfeeding. BUT at that moment, I realised I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT! So much for the childbirth lessons I've attended. Lactation consultant and nurses attended to my endless call button requests, practically each time Liv needs to be fed. They taught me ways to hold Liv while she latched on but she could not suckle well at the breast for long. Liv would latch on successfully when the professionals were around but unlatch as soon as they left my room. Was my way of holding Liv made her uncomfortable to breastfeed? Or was it because she was affected by the epidural administered during labor? I wished someone could enlighten me. Each time I tried to latch Liv for feeds, she would cry so badly that her face went all red and body all tensed up. Just imagine, newborns need to be fed every two to three hours. How many times would I have to watch her cry and struggle at the breast in a day? It wasn't helping when well meaning older generation in the family suggested that I should give Liv formula by bottle when they visited me at the hospital. I gave in under incessantly pressure (which I felt so) from them and also because I could no longer watch my poor baby cry anymore. Liv was supplemented with formula twice. I was in tears when the nurse brought Liv away for feedings. It broke my heart because I was prepared to breastfeed her from birth, to nourish her in a nature's way.  I never stopped trying to latch her. And of course, well meaning family never stopped encouraging me to stop breastfeeding and just use the bottle.

S hired a confinement nanny for me after Liv and I returned home. She was not a pro-breastfeeding person too. She mentioned that it would be more convenient to feed Liv from a bottle with my expressed milk. I finally understood where she was coming from months after. To put it blatantly, it was for her convenience. Neither did she need to bring Liv to me every other hour to feed nor did she need to help me soothe my hungry crying baby while I try to latch her. During her stay with us, the nanny would stood by my side and "advised" me to stop doing so while I tried to latch her. As Liv latched and unlatched, she would start crying. More pro-bottle feeding members in the family would join in. I succumbed and allowed them to introduce the bottle each time they joined forces. The whole pregnancy and birth episode left me all drained out. Too weak from the lack of consistent sleep, the strain from childbirth, blood loss, fluid loss, low blood pressure. I was so so so exhausted. My kins were concerned about the wellbeing of Liv and I. Their advices were out of love and sympathy. But what I needed most from my beloved ones were just one simple act, that was to encourage me to keep on trying. I was in a foul mood (huge hormonal upheaval I was experiencing played a part by the way) most of the time during those first days because I felt helpless and alone. I wished it was easy for me to explain how heart wrenching I felt back then. But all I could manage was sob remorsefully. A month has passed, Liv had gotten used to bottle feeding and she never know how to latch again. As for me, exclusively pumping has became part of my life and bonding with her through direct latch was not an option anymore.

I can never forget those dreadful lonely days in the wee hours of the morning when I was required to stay up and pump to keep my milk supply up. The house was always quiet and dark. Everyone, including Liv was fast asleep, snuggled warm and cosy in their bed. I would doze in and out of sleep as I listened on to the faint suction noise of my electric breast pump.

I can never forget when I was desperately looking for a nursing room to express milk but realised not all places have one. I had to swallow my pride and sat in the cubicles of the toilets to do so. Frequent knocks on my door to hurry up was common, crude remarks could sometimes be heard from displeased ladies in the queue for toilet hogging. My time and effort went to waste each time I expressed milk in the ladies because I had to dump them. Personally felt that they were unhygienic for Liv to consume.

I can never forget the disgusted look from some onlookers while I discreetly expressed milk in public with a nursing cover over what needed to be covered. 

Besides, I'm facing a good deal of hassles too.Warming, chilling, storing expressed milk carefully  under optimal conditions to prevent contamination etc. 

Although I can never direct latch Liv again, I am thankful for the increasing support from my loved ones to continue pumping. S keeps me company whenever he can while I pump. He has been staying up at night to wait for me before we hit the sack at the same time.

There may be disapproving public but I am grateful for kind souls too. I remember meeting this lady in a cafe, didn't get her name because I was too surprised by her kind gesture that I forgot to ask for it. Anyway, lets just call her "Angel". I was pretty sure Angel saw me with my bag of breast pump in one hand and the other with my double chocolate chip frappuccino, walking clumsily towards a table SURROUNDED by many tables. Angel came from behind and gave me a gentle tap on my shoulder as soon as I pulled out my nursing cover and pump from my bag. I must have appeared very embarrassed that she noticed it. "You can have my table, it's by the side, you'll feel more at ease there" she said. DID I JUST MET A SAMARITAN?! She caught me in surprise, I just kept looking at her before regaining my composure and drowned her with many "Thank You". "You're doing something great for your baby" she added. Angel had made my day. (:

Simple gestures like these from people around me has made exclusive pumping more enjoyable.

Most importantly, Liv keeps me motivated to continue pumping . I have learnt that direct latch is not the only way to bond with my baby. 

To our beloved ones and members of the public, support and encourage us. Breastfeeding mothers, be it direct latch or pumping do encounter difficulties along the way as we breastfeed.  We are not trying to trouble ourselves by breastfeeding our babies nor are we trying to allow anyone to have a peep at our bosom. We just want the best for our precious little one.  

Breastfeeding mothers, don't give up! Lets keep calm and keep breastfeeding! 

10 months into breastfeeding and still counting. Liv is growing taller and stronger day by day!

This post is mainly on breastfeeding. To the mothers out there who are not breastfeeding your babies, it does not make you less of an awesome mum! 

Baby Liv on holiday!

Decided we should bring Baby Liv along with us to Bangkok for a short getaway since we have already gotten her her passport months back. I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD AND EXCITED!

Photo credits to Anantara Bangkok Sathorn Hotel

We booked a skyline one bedroom suite at Anantara Sathorn Hotel for our stay in Bangkok. The room has a living room, toilet (with shower and bath tub), a bedroom, dining area and a balcony. Spacious enough for Baby Liv to roam around freely. And best part is that it is equipped with everything you possibly need. Usually, I would have to trouble the hotel staff to freeze my reusable dry ice packs so I can bring out with me later on to keep Baby Liv's breastmilk nice and chilled. But at Anantara Sathorn, they provide the entire refrigerator. Which means less hassle for the staff and I! Besides that, the room has microwave, complete set of utensils and washing machine. Very suitable for family. Location wise, It is strategically located on the edge of Bangkok's business district. Near to plenty of great shops and restaurants, BTS and MRT train stations are both just minutes from the hotel. Free shuttle transfer service to nearby shopping mall too!

We travelled around Bangkok via taxi all the time since it was more convenient to do so as we have a baby stroller and baby's barang barang stuff to bring along. It was traffic jam almost every taxi trip, at least 20-30mins each time but that was fine with us. We tried to keep our itinerary sparse so that it would not be overly overwhelming for our chubby girl. Furthermore, Baby Liv loves standing at either side of the car doors and watch passing by.

Rainy period during our visit but it did not dampen our mood. In fact, it made our mood better. Studies show that endorphin production is boosted even more when our body has to work harder in the cold, thus leading to a happier state of mind. :D

Look how amazed she was on her first flight!

Other than being absolutely curious with the aircraft, Baby Liv had behaved well during our flights. She did screeched and whined occasionally but I was pretty sure the neighbouring passengers were unaffected by her. (I would check around each time she raised her voice >.<) She would sit and play on her own most of the time. If not, she would simply snooze. It was still pretty challenging to bring a baby abroad, there were times in Bangkok when I told myself that I'll never bring her oversea ever again until she is old enough to talk and walk and eat on her own. I knew those were purely moments of frustration.

This getaway overall was more enjoyable with her around. S and I have already planned a holiday for her first birthday this coming winter! I'm keeping mum on the holiday destination until then!

*Decided to not include After You Dessert Cafe in my blog because I have something even worthy to share!

Why I choose the new Macbook.

For working adults and students, anyone who uses a personal computer frequently (like myself) or someone who just wants to get a personal computer, the new Macbook is one good option to consider.

1. OUTLOOK
Needless to say, the sleek design of the new Macbook has won the hearts of many people in this advanced technology era. It is the thinnest and lightest among all the Mac notebooks. Kudos for its feather light weight body.  I really need this because it fits snugly in my bag without any noticeable extra weight. I cannot lug anymore things that are heavy on top of Baby Liv's stuffs when I'm out and about. As I heard of negative feedbacks on the new keyboard, I feel that it is one awesome change. For me, I like its thinner construction . It feels effortless to hit those keys. Undeniably beautiful, enough say.

2. RETINA DISPLAY
Clear, bright and colourful display thanks to its 2304 x 1440 super high resolution. Those fine details.. whoa! Never thought watching HD movies and browsing photographs on laptops can be so enjoyable. Aren't everything appear picture perfect on the new Macbook?

3. PERFORMANCE & BATTERY LIFE
This gorgeous machine here is capable of multi-tasking. Besides the actual work I have to do, I can  check my mail, open up multiple Safari tabs, constant streaming of Facebook feeds and music/video playback all at the same time. As for its battery life, Apple claims it can provide 9 hours of web browsing and 10 hours of iTunes playback. For working people who requires multitasking and heavy usage of the computer, it is said to be able to last you about 4.5 hours. It is not considered a long time span since our working hours usually is about 7-8 hours. But we usually will plug in to a power point in the office. And I believe there are only very very small percentage of us will use 4.5 hours of our own time to work outside the workplace. :p

4. FORCE TOUCH TRACKPAD
The force touch trackpad lets you "Force" click by pressing on the trackpad and applying more pressure. Trackpad settings are adjustable to match the pressure you want in the System Preferences. Its one way I make use of the Macbook efficiently. It allows me to take advantage of new functionality in many apps and system features on the Macbook.

Bygone to the power, USB, HDMI ports and whats not. Its now the USB-C port, one port, multi-use jack, everything under one roof. But you will need a multiport adapter since most of the gadgets (including iPhones) are still using USB cable. >.< It's cumbersome to bring the adaptor because I will forget to bring at least one item ALL THE TIME when I'm out. But well, the USB-C is one of the reason the Macbook looks sleek. Yay?

And and and!! Its fanless design allows cool and quiet operation. No more overheating and heat related discomfort, my hands will never have to feel like they are running a fever after using my notebook. Best is that there will be no more interruptions to Baby Liv's sleep while I work on my Macbook!

I'm still a newbie to my Macbook so I have not encounter any drawback. As of now, the only downside of it is its hefty price tag. Prices start from $1,788 for 256GB & $2,288 for 512GB.

The new Macbook is available in 3 colors: Silver, Gold, Space Grey.

Do check out Apple website for more details on their tech specs etc.

GE 2015.

Time is ticking, GE (General Election) 2015 is only 3 days away. Have you decided who you would give your vote to?

I see more and more divided views from fellow netizens of the electing parties on media. Since I'm a first time voter, I would like to share my views too. I am not someone that is very into politics but I do read up on them from the papers and have some sharing with S occasionally.

Here it is...

Back then in 1965, Singapore was ousted by our current neighboring country. We became an independent republic but we had almost nothing. Our founding father, together with his team tackled major problems such as mass unemployment, housing shortages and the lack of natural resources. Singapore became how it is now. We are self sufficient. As a matter of fact, we have become the leading global city-state and island country in Southeast Asia, comparable to even European countries. So.. looking back at the past and the tremendous transformation of our home, isn't this something we should be proud of? And isn't this something a leader should lead us to?

Image credits to en.wikipedia.org

Our living costs are said to be high. In fact, I think we can keep it managable. Instead of an Apple or Samsung phone, you can use some other more affordable ones. Instead of steak, you can eat chicken rice. Instead of Starbucks coffee, you can drink kopitiam kopi. It's by choice, our choice.

One of the electing parties proposed to give cash handouts for families with children below the age of 18 and basic pension for all senior citizens. By drawing the nation's reserve fund to please people and win votes? In my point of view, that's not the way it should be done. This will result in inflation. As we have that "extra" cash, we will spend more naturally. thus demand higher, prices higher. Our currencies will become smaller against the world's currencies too. Imported goods and traveling will become expensive.

As the value of our money decline, we might not be able to afford housing. When people stop buying houses, property prices fall. people without a house might think it is good. But how about the 90.3% of resident households that own a home? YOUR PROPERTY WILL DEVALUE.

If we are to use the Government reserve to handout "free" money, this will definitely help almost instantly. Money pocketed every month into almost every households as long as they have the young and the old. Where does the money come from? When the reserve dries up or not much left, Singapore will not be able to sustain in times of economy crisis. Till then, taxpayers will have to pay even more. And who are the taxpayers? The middle income and the rich. They might feel unfair and probably might find all sorts of ways to avoid taxes. Middle income group is largely made up of the SMEs. If they are make to pay heavier taxes then, they will not be able to give the employees salary. Are the "help" from the cash handouts really help for us?

Quoted from a member of an electing party, "There are Singaporeans who know how to invest money, and this group of people, at age 55, should have the choice to take that money out and make their own investments, which may give them better returns than the small CPF returns we are getting.

"Let us have the choice. If people say 'I need the money', maybe let him withdraw half and keep the other half as earning interest. At 55, we want the right to have our money back." 

Oh yes, there sure are Singaporeans who know how to invest money. But how many are there? And are the investments safe proof? Feels like gambling to me. Lets say one is allow to withdraw CPF for investment and it didn't go well, should he seek assistance from the government or social welfare? What if more of us make a wrong move in our investments? All fellow taxpayers ready to help these misfortunate people? I would say current system is on a safer side, making sure we are self sufficient for basic living.

In my opinion, I think foreign talents and immigrants are needed in our country too. For example, the 2 casinos in Singapore are owned by foreigners. Yes, some netizens gambled all their savings. Addicted gamblers will find every possible way to gamble even without casinos in Singapore. Think about it, more of us actually benefited from them. They help to boost the Singapore economy by bringing up the international visitors rate and most importantly, created many job opportunities for us. .Netizens assume foreign workers continue to fill jobs that they believe should be theirs. Are we ready to build homes with bricks and cement at construction sites? Are we ready to work long hours in our service industry (eg. restaurants) everyday? Can we not take sick leave or leave a day before/after a PH? Can we not report sick when we have what it seems like just a morning sinus (late night partying last night actually)?

All in all, a revolutionary change in government can possibly result in the fall of our gross domestic product (GDP). Big MNCs and foreign companies will withdraw from our country when they see no potential growth in our economy. We will be left with local SMEs which might not have sufficient funds to keep their businesses running and contribute to most of our citizens' salaries.

I wouldn't say current situation is the best. I think they can do more by reducing the earnings from Singaporeans through. Lesser taxes payable (ERP, Income Tax, GST etc). I agree that higher paid government jobs will mean transparency in the country, corruption free and talented people. But I feel that the figures on their payrolls are quite steep.

No one is perfect, we should always remember to look at the bigger picture and not just merely magnifying some of the flaws. In my opinion, they have done more good than bad for us through all these years.

A popular youtube music video has been circulating online, "the train broke down, we must walk home". If I'm not wrong, we have to walk home everyday if we didn't have the train.

"squeeze bus, squeeze MRT". Here's a photo of  the subway in New York:

image credits to http://cce-wakata.blogspot.sg/

If cars are made very affordable in Singapore by reducing/abolishing COE for Singaporeans as what many want, we will never have to squeeze in the train. Because we will have in the cars, squeezing on the road.

"When one drinks water, one must not forget where it comes from."

I shall end here before I think of more and start ranting on and on..

Last of all...

BE CAREFUL, VOTE WISELY.

Foreword.

I have a diary book for quite some time and I have finally decided to abandon the traditional writing BUT still not giving up the habit of jotting down life happenings. So...I shall start blogging! I am a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) since the birth of my baby girl, Liv. Having a baby is a life-changing experience for me, in a good way and I must say she is the most perfect gift from God. Mothers out there agree? :D There will be more about her in the blog entries to come! Anyway,  Baby Liv is 9 months old now and I feel that she's easier to take care now (fingers crossed). That leave me with much appreciated "me time". These time off should very well be fully utilized so it doesn't go to waste. Be it running errands or working out etc. Efficient, Convenient & Productive is the key. Thus, good-da-bye, diary book. I need an online blog now!